If you ever wanted to see what happens when a government agency tries to run on panic, pressure, and whatever Stephen Miller screams during conference calls, look no further than the Department of Homeland Security under Kristi Noem.
Insiders are now calling her giant ICE hiring spree a full-blown βs—show,β and honestly, that might be the politest description anyone has given it.
Trump ordered 3,000 deportations a day β because of course he did β and now Noem has been racing around trying to hire 10,000 extra ICE agents. But instead of a well-organized plan, DHS ended up with waves of newly rehired agents showing up with no badges, no guns, no system access, and in some cases, nothing to do except sit around and collect checks.
One insider said, βIn many offices, the rehires showed up and we had nothing for them.β Imagine clocking in for a job and being told, βJust sit here. Maybe weβll think of something.β Thatβs the vibe inside DHS right now.
It gets worse. Noem is bringing back retired law enforcement officers because they donβt need much training. In theory, that sounds fine. In practice, it is pure confusion. The process is happening so fast that even experienced agents are saying the vetting is a mess. One called it βchaotic.β Another, keeping it honest, said, βMake no mistake, it is a s–tshow right now.β
Meanwhile, Trump is shouting for numbers. Deportation numbers. Big ones. Huge ones. βThe most beautiful deportations youβve ever seen.β And who gets to take the heat? Noem β or as some inside DHS call her, βICE Bar,β a nickname she earned for showing up to raids in a flak jacket like sheβs filming her own action movie.
The money being thrown around is almost unbelievable. Rehired agents are coming back as GS-13s, and with locality pay and LEAP bonuses, theyβre clearing salaries that go way beyond $250,000 a year. And thatβs before counting their already-healthy federal pensions. Some insiders said older rehires are basically getting paid luxury money to do desk work β with no supervision. One agent put it bluntly: βSome older retired rehires are doing office shiftwork for like $300,000.β
If youβre wondering why this is happening, the answer is simple: Trumpβs immigration spending bill dumped piles of cash into DHS, and the leadership is now flinging it around like it expires at midnight. One official said the panic inside the government is growing because the deportation numbers are nowhere near Trumpβs goals. Stephen Miller, the self-appointed deportation king, is reportedly screaming on calls like the numbers personally insulted him.
Even longtime agents are worried. Many say the focus on quick arrests is pulling younger, full-time officers onto the streets, while older rehires handle the office tasks. And while that may increase temporary βactivity,β it does nothing to fix long-term issues like overwhelmed courts, backlogged investigations, or the fact that DHS simply doesnβt have the infrastructure for Trumpβs dream of mass daily removals.
Some insiders are trying to stay positive, saying the idea is βright in theoryβ β hire experienced officers fast, increase manpower, and get more done. But even they admit the execution is stumbling badly. One said the chaos will βeventually get ironed out,β though nobody seems sure when or how.
The real tragedy is that millions being wasted. Money that could support border courts, asylum processing, technology upgrades, or, you know, actual smart security improvements.
Featured image via Youtube screengrab
