Insiders Call ICE Barbie’s Rush to Fill 10,000 ICE Positions a Full-Blown S—show

If you ever wanted to see what happens when a government agency tries to run on panic, pressure, and whatever Stephen Miller screams during conference calls, look no further than the Department of Homeland Security under Kristi Noem.

Insiders are now calling her giant ICE hiring spree a full-blown “s—show,” and honestly, that might be the politest description anyone has given it.

Trump ordered 3,000 deportations a day — because of course he did — and now Noem has been racing around trying to hire 10,000 extra ICE agents. But instead of a well-organized plan, DHS ended up with waves of newly rehired agents showing up with no badges, no guns, no system access, and in some cases, nothing to do except sit around and collect checks.

One insider said, “In many offices, the rehires showed up and we had nothing for them.” Imagine clocking in for a job and being told, “Just sit here. Maybe we’ll think of something.” That’s the vibe inside DHS right now.

It gets worse. Noem is bringing back retired law enforcement officers because they don’t need much training. In theory, that sounds fine. In practice, it is pure confusion. The process is happening so fast that even experienced agents are saying the vetting is a mess. One called it “chaotic.” Another, keeping it honest, said, “Make no mistake, it is a s–tshow right now.”

Meanwhile, Trump is shouting for numbers. Deportation numbers. Big ones. Huge ones. “The most beautiful deportations you’ve ever seen.” And who gets to take the heat? Noem — or as some inside DHS call her, “ICE Bar,” a nickname she earned for showing up to raids in a flak jacket like she’s filming her own action movie.

The money being thrown around is almost unbelievable. Rehired agents are coming back as GS-13s, and with locality pay and LEAP bonuses, they’re clearing salaries that go way beyond $250,000 a year. And that’s before counting their already-healthy federal pensions. Some insiders said older rehires are basically getting paid luxury money to do desk work — with no supervision. One agent put it bluntly: “Some older retired rehires are doing office shiftwork for like $300,000.”

If you’re wondering why this is happening, the answer is simple: Trump’s immigration spending bill dumped piles of cash into DHS, and the leadership is now flinging it around like it expires at midnight. One official said the panic inside the government is growing because the deportation numbers are nowhere near Trump’s goals. Stephen Miller, the self-appointed deportation king, is reportedly screaming on calls like the numbers personally insulted him.

Even longtime agents are worried. Many say the focus on quick arrests is pulling younger, full-time officers onto the streets, while older rehires handle the office tasks. And while that may increase temporary “activity,” it does nothing to fix long-term issues like overwhelmed courts, backlogged investigations, or the fact that DHS simply doesn’t have the infrastructure for Trump’s dream of mass daily removals.

Some insiders are trying to stay positive, saying the idea is “right in theory” — hire experienced officers fast, increase manpower, and get more done. But even they admit the execution is stumbling badly. One said the chaos will “eventually get ironed out,” though nobody seems sure when or how.

The real tragedy is that millions being wasted. Money that could support border courts, asylum processing, technology upgrades, or, you know, actual smart security improvements.

Featured image via Youtube screengrab